oldschoolrunescapefandomcom-20200223-history
Evil Dave/Dialogue
After completing Recipe for Disaster: Freeing Evil Dave. * Evil Dave: Welcome to my''' BASEMENT OF DOOM! * '''1. Nice basement! ** Player: Nice basement! ** Evil Dave: Nice?! ** Player: I mean, evil! ** Evil Dave: Yeah! I'm going to use it to summon DEMONS to DO MY BIDDING, or raise an ARMY OF THE UNDEAD! And then I'm going to totally, like, take over the world! ** Evil Dave: Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha-haa! ** 1'''. So have you had any luck with the demon-summoning? *** '''Player: So have you had any luck with the demon-summoning? *** Evil Dave: Well, I thought I should start small, so I asked Wizard Grayzag for some help with summoning imps... *** Player: And did you manage to summon any? *** Evil Dave: Well, not imps, exactly. It turns out they're not the lowest form of demon after all. I got these hell-rats. *** Evil Dave: They're hardly evil at all! They're just like regular rats only they smell vaguely of sulphur! *** *''Back to previous options''* ** 2'''. Weren't you going to give up evil? *** '''Player: Weren't you going to give up evil? *** Evil Dave: Yeah, well... *** Evil Dave: I did try. I wore this bright red jumper and I got up in the morning and spent the day outside in the sunshine... *** *Dave shudders* *** Evil Dave: But I couldn't keep it up. I just didn't find anything good very interesting, you know? *** Evil Dave: Sometimes I worry about the consequences of evil. I don't really want anyone to get hurt, not like what happened with Denath. *** Evil Dave: But I can't not be evil! It's just who I am! *** Evil Dave: Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha-haa! *** *''Back to previous options''* ** 3'''. See you later. *** '''Player: See you later! *** Evil Dave: Of course you will return! There is no escape from my DARK POWER! * 2'''. Weren't you going to give up evil? ** '''Player: Weren't you going to give up evil? ** Evil Dave: Yeah, well... ** Evil Dave: I did try. I wore this bright red jumper and I got up in the morning and spent the day outside in the sunshine... ** *Dave shudders* ** Evil Dave: But I couldn't keep it up. I just didn't find anything good very interesting, you know? *** Evil Dave: Sometimes I worry about the consequences of evil. I don't really want anyone to get hurt, not like what happened with Denath. ** Evil Dave: But I can't not be evil! It's just who I am! ** Evil Dave: Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha-haa! ** *''Back to previous options''* * 3'''. Let me try to explain the time travel thing again... ** '''Player: Let me try to explain the time travel thing again... **'1'. Although you're here, you're also still in the time freeze. ***'Player': Although you're here, you're also still in the time freeze. ***'Evil Dave': What? ***'Player': I mean, the whole room was frozen in time at the moment the culinomancer cast his spell, right? ***'Evil Dave': What? I didn't notice anything. ***'Player': Of course you didn't! You were frozen! ***'Evil Dave': So how can I be there and also here? Which one is me? ***'Evil Dave': I mean, I feel like I'm me, but what if I'm not me? ***'Evil Dave': That would be terrible! ***'Player': They're both you! ***'Evil Dave': How does that work? ****''Back to previous options''* **'2'. From YOUR point of view I've saved you, but from MINE I haven't. ***'Player': From YOUR point of view I've saved you, but from MINE I haven't. ***'Evil Dave': Well that's all right, as long as I'm saved from my point of view! ***'Player': But I have to save you, otherwise you won't be saved! ***'Evil Dave': But I'm here so you must already have saved me! ***'Player': That's what I meant, from your point of view I've saved you but from mine I haven't! ***'Evil Dave': What? ****''Back to previous options''* **'3'. I've got to take the food back in time to give it to you. ***'Player': I've got to take the food back in time to give it to you. ***'Evil Dave': Why? ***'Player': Because otherwise you won't be saved from the culinomancer's spell. ***'Evil Dave': But I was saved from the spell! I remember it! ***'Player': Exactly! That's why I know I have to go back and save you! ***'Evil Dave': What will happen if you don't? ***'1'. I can't not, I already have! ****'Player': I can't not, I already have! ****'Evil Dave': What? ****'Player': The fact that you're here means I already did save you, which means that you have to tell me the correct recipe. It's logically impossible for you not to! ****'Evil Dave': I don't understand this at all. *****''Back to previous dialogue''* ***'2'. There will be a temporal paradox and the universe will implode! ****'Player': There will be a temporal paradox and the universe will implode! ****'Evil Dave': Oh no! That would be bad, and not even in an evil way! ****'Player': Exactly! So you've got to tell me the recipe! ****'''Evil Dave: 'But I still don't understand why you need the recipe when you've already saved me! *****''Back to previous options* ***'3'. I don't know ****'Player': I don't know. ****'Evil Dave': That's not very helpful. I don't even understand why you need the recipe anyway. *****''Back to previous options''* **'4'. You've got to tell me because the magic requires it! ***'Player': You've got to tell me because the magic requires it! ***'Evil Dave': That's what you said before! Honestly, why make it more complicated than it needs to be? **'5'. Oh, never mind. ***'Player': Oh, never mind.